Standing in front of the mirror, I felt the tears welling to the edges of my eyes. That is when I watched in amazment as my green eyes began to to turn blue at the edges. It made me think, that usually I am a happy person, just lately I have been rough, and blue around the edges. So much has happened, and so much has changed. I know that I should not fight what is happening because there is nothing that I can do for it now. It is in the past, but it was everything that I held dearest to my heart. It really hurts. I dont know what else I am going to do. My sisters have drifted, they both began very serious relationships this summer, and I was left back. Out in the cold. While one of my best friends ended our friendship with a text message. He was the best person that I ever knew. At least that is what I thought. And I just wonder how long is it going to take for me to move past this pain?? How long am I going to carry this chip on my shoulder. I have tried so hard to drop it, but it is nearly impossible. TO feel this broken, to know that no one cares like they did before is so hard. My father molested me, and I am just begining to deal with this, and it hurts, I dont know what else I am going to do. I dont want to deal with this. It seemed so much easier when it was all buried deep inside, when I did not ever talk about it. I just dont know what I am going to do. I dont know what i am going to say to anyone. I dont know what I should do. I know I keep repeating myself, but it does not seem like it is that big of a deal, but it is. I know that it is, and I feel like that may be why I am so low all of the time. Maybe, that is why I am always so dang heartbroken. Maybe, that is why all of my life right now is in shambles. My stupid father, who I still love, and can not imagine my life without, keeps giving everyone else things that he had already given me. Who do I call in times like these?? Who can I talk to when I am so hurt, that I just want to lay on the floor and never get up again? With out a best friend, and with sisters who are too self-centered to see the pain that I am experiencing, who do I talk to?? WHere do I turn? I know that I should turn to God, but it is so hard in times like these. Deep down I am happy, and I do not know how to find it again. How do I find that place where I finally was this summer?? How do I get there alone??