What to Do?

How many times will I let you

Published on March 3, 2006 By Kaulani In Dating

I never let anyone hurt me until I met you.
I feel really funny when I talk to you,
My heart flutters and my stomache turns inside out.
What should I do?
Should I put myself out there more and ask you,
Or should I just keep my mouth shut and pull away.
Rejection is not exactly me favorite thing,
But what if I just let you pass and you are the love of my life.
I have seen your dates, Barbie and Ken you look like
So I know that you would not date me.
Should I lose weight and start wearing make-up?
But then that would not be me,
Is it worth changing, and doing what I swore I never would.
Eddie, I think that I love you,
You have turned me into a helpless romantic,
I am mushy and I just lose my breath whenever someone mentions your name.
Should I just follow like a lost puppy to the person that pets them.
I wish that this was easy, but nothing in life is.

Comments (Page 1)

new-age nomad

on Mar 04, 2006

You know, people tell you all the time not to change for other people. But if you like someone, and you want to have them, and you know the only way you will have them is to change, then you're actually changing for yourself.

You see?

You need to ask yourself one question: Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya?

No, really, the real question is: If you were Eddie, would you be attracted to you.

If your answer is no, and you truely think you love him, then change. Change is almost always productive in a postive way.

Good luck.

Trinitie

Kaulani

on Mar 04, 2006

Thanks Trin, but I think that no matter what I do, no matter how I change I will never be good enough for anyone. Eddie, even though I think at times that i love him, I think I love what he used to be. When I first met him he was amazing, he was not big headed even though he looked good. He was a really sweet guy, he wanted to save himself for his wife, and he loved being around me, even though I was fat. Now that all of these girls have noticed him, he is really arrogant, because I am me he never wants to see me, and when I call he has his girls or Jimmy's girls answer his phone. So I know that he is not really what I thought he was. I love him for who he used to be, and I really love the idea of having someone of the opposite sex love me for me. I really want to feel loved by someone, besides friends and family. I think that I am just too willing to rush into a heart breaking relationship, even when I know that it will not work. But thank you for your advice.
Aloha

Texas Wahine

on Mar 05, 2006

No offense, but I think your friend Trin is giving you some pretty bad advice.

You can't MAKE anyone love you. You can change your hair, you can lose weight, you can dress differently, you can change your hobbies, you can attempt to change your personality...none of that will make someone love you if they don't.

We all change constantly. Day to day and year to year. Sometimes the way we change is complementary to the way our friends and others we care about change. Sometimes it's not.

I don't think you "love" this guy. You love the idea of a good looking guy accepting you and admiring you. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but honestly, I think you're wasting your time on something that's never going to come to fruition and is only going to make you feel bad about yourself.

If losing weight or wearing make up would make you feel more confident, go for it. Don't do it for some guy who's too shallow to lavish any attention on you without you going through a physical overhaul.

Stop pining for this guy, and live. Soon enough you'll run into someone who finds you witty, attractive, and all around lovable. No sense in feeling shitty about yourself in the meantime.

shadesofgrey

on Mar 05, 2006

I'd listen to TW; she's offering some sound advice. But from your response to Trin, it sounds like you already realized that!

Good luck.

Kaulani

on Mar 05, 2006

Thank you Texas Wahine, I never thought that you would comment on my blogs! I agree with your advice, but its just so hard because me best friend is married and she is only 17. I think that a lot of my problem is jealousy because my younger sister and cousins have already had boyfriends and been kissed and I just thik that I am missing out on something big!

Shadesofgrey, thank you for commenting on my blog. I feel blessed that people feel that my problems are worth commenting/ putting their time into. Thanks for having the confidence that I had already come to the same conclussion that TW gave me. I had, I just think that I needed to get everything off fo my chest before I could really admit it.

Aloha

AngelaMarie88

on Mar 06, 2006

but its just so hard because me best friend is married and she is only 17. I think that a lot of my problem is jealousy because my younger sister and cousins have already had boyfriends and been kissed and I just thik that I am missing out on something big!

Don't worry about age. Many people find that they don't even need romantic relationships until they're well into their 20's. The young girls may likely be in over their heads. Just live your life and do things that you love doing...and in those activities you'll probably stumble upon a guy who loves doing the same things you do...and he just might fall for you too. It could be anyone. It could even be Eddie.

Enjoy these feelings you're having now. They're wonderful feelings of breathlessness, weakness, love. Yes, I think it's love. It doesn't have to be reciprocated to be called "love." Don't let people talk you out of having these wonderful feelings. It's not something to be embarrassed about. It's beautiful. More people ought to be as lucky as you

You're probably worried about getting hurt though, huh? I dare say that if you feel brave enough I think it would be wonderful to tell Eddie that you love him. But brace yourself against being hurt because arrogant people can be very hurtful. At least you'll have the satisfaction of telling him you love him. Then perhaps based on his response you can either keep on loving him or put him in the "reject" bin. Just follow your heart. Love can be a sweet thing if you reserve a bit of your heart in case of rejection.

Kaulani

on Mar 06, 2006

Thanks AngelaMarie88! That was amazing, I just might call him later and let him know what I feel. Chances are though that he will not answer, he keeps having a girl ( the one he told me was his cousins girlfriend, but told his ex was his girlfriend) answer the phone. Normall I just hang up, but yesterday I told her to tell Eddie that i called and that I wanted to talk to him. He never calls back but I just really want to talk to him about the things that hes been saying to me. My sister-in-law thinks that he is just leading me on to hurt me, and at times I agree with her. But at other tiems, when me and him talk on the phone for three hours about what we want out I life I feel differently. I just dont know. But thank you so much for that advice, I will think it over and I will let you know what happens if I do it.
Aloha

new-age nomad

on Mar 08, 2006

Yes, I think it's love. It doesn't have to be reciprocated to be called "love." Don't let people talk you out of having these wonderful feelings. It's not something to be embarrassed about. It's beautiful. More people ought to be as lucky as you

YOU ARES SO KICKASS!

new-age nomad

on Mar 08, 2006

YOU ARE SO KICKASS!

To everyone else, THANKS FOR SHITT'N ON MY ADVICE! Lol...just play'n....I like it when insults include, "no offense, but" ....that is so great.

Umm, I'm right, that's all there is to it.

Trinitie

Texas Wahine

on Mar 08, 2006

I like it when insults include, "no offense, but" ....that is so great.

Let me clarify:

I hope that Kaulani isn't offended by my comment about her friend.

I don't care if Trinitie is offended because I think she is young, idealistic, full of herself, and thinks she has everyone and everything figured out. Sometimes it's adorable and sometimes it's annoying as hell. And I figure she takes it as well as she dishes it out, so it's not a problem.

Feel better?

PS - AngelaMarie is likewise pie in the sky, and I'd be careful about taking her advice as gospel as well.

Kaulani

on Mar 08, 2006

Well thank you both. I know that Trin is full of herself sometimes. Trust me I did not get offended by your comment, actually it made me laugh! Thanks for all of the advice, from everyone. I think that i have just given up on that aspect anyway! Once again I am in the depths!
Aloha

new-age nomad

on Mar 09, 2006

And I figure she takes it as well as she dishes it out, so it's not a problem.

I'm so glad we could come to this understanding. From this point on, it's war.

J/K....girl, you know I luuuuuuuuuuuuvvv you! It's so cute the way you think I'm idealistic when I'm just, um, a genius.....basically.....yeah.....

Angela kicks ass. No dispute.

Trinitie

new-age nomad

on Mar 09, 2006

And I figure she takes it as well as she dishes it out, so it's not a problem.

I'm so glad we could come to this understanding. From this point on, it's war.

J/K....girl, you know I luuuuuuuuuuuuvvv you! It's so cute the way you think I'm idealistic when I'm just, um, a genius.....basically.....yeah.....

Angela kicks ass. No dispute.

Trinitie

blondie06

on Mar 21, 2006

Girl you know how Eddie is, he has a split personality. He did me the same way but then tells you that he was waiting on me to make the move. Just be careful with him because he is all about himself sometimes then others he is so caring and compassionate.

I still had feelings for him this past summer but then he blew them all away when he stopped calling and never wanted to talk to me. I talked to Jimmy more than I did Eddie.

I dont know wat to tell you to do with him but it might just work if you tell him how you feel.

Kaulani

on Mar 22, 2006

Thanks for the advice, you probably know what you are talking about being married and everything!
Aloha

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