To severe the umbilical cord to those who do not deserve it.............
So, I left this site a long time ago, and I was not planing on writing again. But why should I put away my love of writing because noone ever comments back? Or because what they have to say is never what I want to hear? I have decided to say fuck it, this is my article, this is my life. So now it is time to dive.................. but where do I land?
My sister and my father have some serious issues between them, and I hate them. They both pull me in the middle, and I just need a break, but i can never get away. I hate my life.... I hate my family...... and most of all I hate that I can not let either of them go. I hold on to both of them for dear life, because they were the only ones who seemed to understand me. How do I say goodbye to them? I hate saying goodbye because it seems so final, so absolute, and it never turns out good. I only had to say goodbye twice before, and each time they traveled into the next phase of life(actually death). But how do I cut them off. How do I tell them to leave me out of it? How so I stay out of it? It is sooo impossible, yet it is so possible.
Both are wrong, and both are hurting everyone. My older sister wants my father to suffer because he made her suffer. Which I totally understand, but she is making the rest of us suffer also. How do I stop the pain and suffering? I want to move away, but at the same time I am afraid to move away from my family, because I love them all soooo much. I have a beautiful niece, and two nephews and cousins that make me feel happy. I dont know, I try to find the answer but it never comes what do I do? Who knows................................. NO one.